I think that generally, people don't like change. But I really, really don't like change. I am the kind of person who wants to have a plan, wants to know what's happening next and doesn't like surprises. But about 18 months ago, my whole world changed.
For those of you who have been following the blog for a while, you know that in 2013 my dad was diagnosed with cancer. Up until then, we had a pretty normal life. When I was 13 and then 14, everything seems to be in control. We had the same routines day after day and everything was the same. But then, a month after I turned 15, my whole world changed. Suddenly my dad had cancer. Suddenly everything wasn't carefully planned out, something I couldn't control had happened. For the next 18 months it felt as if we lived in a whirlwind. Nothing was certain, nothing was "normal". But in time, we established a new normal. Things seemed to get back to how they were before he got cancer.
But they weren't.
As I looked back, I realized that things had permanently changed. And I didn't like it. Some of my friends (who were older then me) had finished high-school and gone off to college and now one of them is engaged and another dating. As I looked back, I realized I didn't want to go forward. I didn't want to move toward an uncertain future. I wanted to go back. Back to where I had felt comfortable and safe. Back to where nothing ever seemed to change.
But I can't
Life happens, time changes things. It really put James 4:14 in a different light. Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what isyour life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.
Life is a vapor, it is here and then gone. Things are constantly changing. people are changing. But there is one person who will never change. When everything it uncertain, He is always certain. When everything is changing, He is the same. I had made castles in the sand of what I wanted, and I had been content with them. . .until the tide came in. Until everything changed. Then suddenly I was surrounded by waters of change. Nothing was certain, there was nothing I could hold onto. Except the rock. The rock that had stayed that same through many storms. The rock that was unchanging, always there, always the same.
Jesus is that rock. Through all the storms of life, He is the same. I needed to let go.Let go of what I wanted, let go of everything I thought was important. I had to let go of the "rope" that I had been clinging to as I tried to stop the inevitable change that life brings. The "rope" that contained my plans, my hopes, my dreams. I had to let go. And as I let go, I had to put my hand in the hand of my Savior's and trust that his plans for me are better than anything I could have dreamed of. Life with Jesus is always an adventure! I put my hand in his, and follow whereHe leads. No turning back, no turning back.
Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.