Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Let Him hold you

Okay, I know. What kind of a blog post title is that? Well, hopefully by the time you finish reading the post it will all make sense.
I was planning to do a January-in-Review post, and I still will, but this is just something that's been on my heart lately so I thought I'd share it.

January was a difficult month for our family. Dad has been on three antibiotics since Christmas, he has had multiple Dr. visits, and Mom has not been doing too well. Her MS has been acting up, so her vision has been blurred and a lot of the time she feels dizzy. And, in the middle of it all, almost everyone came down with a nasty cold. There were days when Faith, dad and I were the only ones who were up and around.

So, yeah. It's definitely not been one of the better months for our family. There were times this past month where I just wanted to go and hide from everything that was going on. Yes, I know it wouldn't have changed anything, but sometimes hiding can just sound so comforting. A way to get away from everything, even if it's only for a moment or two.
Unfortunately, that's not really possible. Even when you do get away, the thoughts and worries are still there.
There's one song that has been a huge blessing to me this month; "Just be Held" by Casting Crowns.

I tend to try and control the circumstances around me. And even if things don't go as planned, then at least I'll try to stay the same. Not appear affected by what's happening, taking everything in stride. Well, I try. The truth is, I try to ignore it. I look at the facts, see what needs done, and try my best to do it. If I give myself a moment to think, then all the questions I've pushed aside threaten to overwhelm me.
It's easier to stay busy and to not think about it. But even in a house with ten people, there are times when it is quiet, there are times when there is nothing else that needs done.
And that's when all the questions and worries come. That's when I have a choice. I can either do my best to continue in my own strength, which will eventually  fail. Of I can turn everything over to God, and trust that He is holding me and my family in everything we're going through.

Yes, God has a reason. I don't know exactly how it will work out, but it will. In his timing. One of the hardest things for me to do is trust. I have a hard time letting go of things. And when you're in the middle of something that's going on, it is so easy to look at the surroundings. To see the physical side of what's happening and how it effects us.

My favorite line in "Just be Held" is; "When your eyes are on the storm you'll wonder if I love you still, but when your eyes are on the cross you'll know I always have and I always will. And not a tear is wasted, in time you'll understand. I'm painting beauty in the ashes, your life is in my hands".
God is there. Even in the storm, even in the chaos, He is there, and He loves you. He wants what is best for you, and somehow what you're going through is all part of His will. We may not see it. Honestly, I don't really see it yet, but I know that His plan is there, and someday I will see it.
It is hard to trust, but He knows what's best. There is freedom in surrender. Lay down the circumstances you are trying to control and give them to God.
It's not a one-time only thing. You need to keep trusting God through all the trials that come your way. When you see all the pain and confusion, it is easy to wonder if God can possible use any of it for good. He can and He will, just trust. Release your hold, and instead let Him hold you. Jesus loves you. It's a simple truth, but one that can be hard to grasp.

Jesus is there and He will hold you. Let go, and let God.

So. . .yeah. This is just some things that have been on my heart this past week.

 I will have a "proper" January-review post up sometime later this week. :) I hope you all are having a good week!

Monday, January 11, 2016

The Earliest Memories Tag

Okay, I've decided I realllyy need to spend some time and catch up on all the fun tags I've been tagged in these past couple months. 
For this one I was tagged by Bethany from A Great God and Good Cocoa 
Thanks for tagging me, Bethany!

1. What is your earliest memory?
Ummm, I remember when I was almost three and my sister was in the hospital. She was born 3 1/2 months early, so she was there for quite a while. I remember having to dress up in a funny gown, wear a mask, and wash my hands for two minutes before we went in the room. I LOVED being able to go and visit her. :) 

2. What is your earliest memory of a birthday?
 I vaguely remember my fifth birthday. We had quite a few friends from our church over and we eat outside. that's about all I remember. 

3. What is your earliest memory of a food?
I remember eating so much clam chowder I was tired of it. ;) I think I was 4 and we lived in Washington at the time. Some neighbors of our went clamming all the time and they would always bring us back a whole bunch for us; so much that it got to the point we were having clam chowder every night. 

4. What is your earliest memory of a gathering?
 Other they church it would have to be my fifth birthday. :) 

5. What is your earliest memory of family?
When I turned six we moved to Kansas. Soon after that, my aunt and Uncle on my dad's side came down to see us, so we had them as well as our grandparents over to our house. 

6. What is your favorite memory?
 The night I recieved Jesus as my Saviour. :) Other then that? Probably the time last year when my grandma was in the hospital. I had stayed at the hospital to be with Grandpa during the surgery and then we had gone to her room afterwards. Some close friends of ours came to see her and then their mom stayed with Grandma and the dad and 2 boys took Grandpa and I to get dinner. I can't remember the last time I had so much fun! :D

7. What is your earliest memory of a gift?
On my 5th birthday, my aunt got me a glass china tea set. It was sooo pretty!

8. What is your earliest memory of an embarrassment?
I honestly don't remember being embarrassed at all when I was little. I mean, I'm sure there were times when I was, I just can't remember them. There are only 3 events that come to mind of when I was embarrassed, but they are all pretty recent. The earliest was when I was 14. We had gone to a lake for a picnic, and it had iced over. It was pretty shallow in the area where we were, so dad said the ice was thick enough along the edges, and if we stayed right next to the shore it would be fine if we wanted to walk on it. 
We did and it was fine, but then I went and got a stick because I wanted to see how think the ice was further out. I stayed next to the shore and tapped the ice about five feet away. To my horror, the ice broke broke and I careened forward, lost my balance and. . .promptly fell in the water. My sisters both screamed and ran to get Dad. I could swim and the current wasn't too bad, the water was just really cold. My brother helped me back onto the ice (the only one of my siblings who has stayed with me) and everything was fine. . .or so we thought. Well. . .obviously, someone had seen the ice break and called 911. So just think firemen, police, and even someone from the local news pulling up. . .yeah. It was really, really embarrassing

  9. What is your earliest memory of when you were scared?
The first time I went to the dentist when I was five. I think I thought he was going to pull my teeth or something and I was terrified.    

10. What is your earliest memory of a camp?  
When I was five or six, our church went on a family camp to Vancouver, B.C. It was sooo beautiful!! I dearly want to go again sometime
11. How young were you when you received Christ? (optional)
I received Christ as my Lord and Saviour in 2012, when I was fourteen years old. Up until then I had just thought that since I had been raised in a Christian family and gone to church,  God would surely think I was good enough to go to Heaven with my parents
A month after I turned fourteen, somethings happened that showed me just how wrong I was and how much I needed a Saviour. Honestly, the peace that Jesus gives when you have given your life into His control is worth so much more then the world has to offer!

And. . .that wraps up the questions!  Thanks, Bethany! I had a lot of fun answering them all. :)